Day 7 in Review

We successfully made it to Colonial Williamsburg. We paid a small fortune to rent gowns and bonnets for the girls... Which fulfilled a dream of mine and theirs. Harper tipped his colonial cap to all the fair maidens and offered a "g'day" to all in sight. One shop-keeper asked if we could take the credit for such well-bred and finely dressed children.

They loved being in character and they fussed over their gowns and bonnets all day. They felt less fine and well-bred when we were sprinting back to the visitor center when the flash floods first started.

Yep. That is how it went down. We were having a lovely time discovering what the children thought was "Colonial Williamsburger," when the on-and-off rain switched to full throttle monsoon. We tried waiting it out, but it just seemed to get heavier and heavier... So we made a break for it.

I have never seen anything like it! Within minutes of our run back to the car, the walking paths had turned into streams complete with baseball sized rocks rolling down the stream! There were some places that were ankle-deep!

It goes without saying that we didn't get the full Williamsburger experience... but the kids had a great time and I got to quote lines from Pride and Prejudice all day.
And even if we didn't get the full, historical experience... We will always cherish great memories of our first Colonial Flash Flood.




Okay, Maybe It Was A Pity Party.

Alright... Maybe I was being a touch negative when I listed everything gone awry in one 24 hour period, but you gotta admit that this trip has gotten off to a rough start.

We did not make it to Colonial Williamsburg because of the constipated tunnel, but we ended up spending the day at Virginia beach... And if a day on the ocean is our plan B, then can I really complain?? Now that I have some perspective, I can give the overview of the past couple days without spiraling into the deep-dark.

After Washington DC, and after the urgent care stop, we finally made it to Virginia beach, where we have been saying with Tom's Uncle Paul. We got in around 11:00ish at night and the kids were exhausted and starving.

Uncle Paul, being a more-than- gracious host, greeted us with homemade personal pizzas and a bucket of toys from the "sand bunny." (thanks a lot Uncle P, we had sooo much room in the van for more loose items.) :) We were also greeted with indoor plumbing, which we had been missing sorely.

After spending day 6 at the beach with Uncle Paul, we had an amazing dinner and spent the evening sharing ridiculous stories (and critiques of the various stages of Tom's facial hair growth) with Mr. Todd and Ms. Julie, Uncle Paul's neighbors.

I don't know if Uncle Paul knew what he was getting himself into when he allowed the six of us to visit, but I have a feeling it is a bit of a departure from his cool, bachelor living. I have a feeling that there have been more spills (and food eaten) in his house on our two night stay than there have been in the past year before we arrived.

In keeping with tradition, some things had to get a little crazy. I discovered that I had some sort of poison ivy, JUST under my wedding ring. So, for the first time in 9 years, I took the ring off for the day. And it got lost.

After a thorough search of every drain and surface, we finally found it in the dirty laundry pile. It was a little stressful, but all is well, expect for my finger is itchy.

We are heading now to Colonial Williamsburg, the tunnel appears to to be flushed free of all blockages and we traded the defective stroller in for one with ALL FOUR wheels! Things are looking up.

Because of all the craziness, we have had to rearrange the itinerary several times. This means that we are gonna cramp Uncle P's style for one more night... And then we head to North Carolina.

Well, that is the plan... But we've all seen how well our plan goes. So, I guess we'll see. We had a little conference with the kids, and we talked about how the trip has had a rough start and that it seems like maybe we should pack it in and go home... But after a family vote, we unanimously agreed to push our luck, and push through in the hope that the worst of it is over and that we can still have a great time.

I am a little skeptical about how the rest is going to go, but I will take skepticism over the desire to fake my own death. I consider this an improved state of mind, so on we go, like total fools ignoring major signs to go home.

All is not right in the world.

Everything is going wrong.

I am not throwing a pity party, and I am not just a completely negative person. Trust me, you have to have a delusional amount of optimism to plan a trip like this. So, when I say that everything is going south... It is a realistic estimation of this trip.

To save myself time (and to prevent myself from sliding into a deep, dark depression by going over all the ridiculous details) I am just going to list all of the crazy upsets from day #5.

-London peed her car seat, two more times.
-Annalee injured her big toe. Not sure what happened, but it is red and swollen and painful to walk on. For a trip with a ton of walking, this is a major problem.
-We took her to an urgent care and the doctor acted like I was an idiot for bringing her in. (somehow it was MORE stupid to bring her to the doctor, than to have ignored it. My inner rage-aholic almost punched him in the jaw, but thought better of it because Annalee was there.)
-we forgot a stroller and hiking pack for London. Also bad news for a trip with this much walking.
-we paid double the regular price for an umbrella stroller outside DC.
-when we got to DC and opened the stroller it was MISSING THE FRONT WHEELS. So we pushed London around the city popping a wheely the whole time. Apparently, in DC, you pay twice as much, for half the wheels.
-a state police horse named Stonewall thought London was an apple and munched her head, leaving the top of her covered in bubbly horse foam, and maybe a little traumatized.
-A man with a machine gun asked me to please keep the children back from the fountain, leaving me a little traumatized. (Is the machine gun really necessary, sir? To guard the fountain?)
-half the monuments in DC were closed and the reflection pool was nearly dried up. It was a sad, sad representation of the economic times. Orrrr just a good idea of how hot it was.
-we spent three hours stuck in traffic.
-the kids did so awesome in the car, we stopped to buy ice cream to make orange soda floats on the road. The ice cream was spoiled. Ice cream doesn't spoil you say? Oh, yes it does... Just ask 7-11, it's all they sell.
-mid-drive, our GPS spontaneously takes it upon itself to switch to "least use of freeways" mode. This added hours to our driving time.
-I suspect that the GPS also switches to "least gas stations and highest crime rate" right around the time we need to fill up for gas.
-our GPS is clearly a saboteur.
-we are perpetually running one thousand minutes behind schedule at all times.
-we have had to forbid the children from doing the following (absurd) things at one point or another: repeatedly asking for socks, laughing at such a high-pitch only dogs (and parents) can hear it, touching surfer Kyle until your snack is finished, spitting in your hand and rubbing on your legs like lotion, standing too close to a stranger's backside, standing close enough to a horse that he thinks you are an apple, saying "the yellow marker was mine," screaming like you're on fire, unless you are actually ON fire.
-as I type this, we just discovered that the tunnel (ie; only way out) from Virginia Beach to get to Colonial Williamsburg is blocked and we literally cannot go there today. I mean, come on!

There has seriously been one road block after another, metaphorically speaking. Now, we are switching over to LITERAL road blocks. Tom is gonna jerk the wheel.

At one point I was begging Tom to let us to fake our own deaths so that we didn't have to tear down camp, and we could just leave everything there and escape across the border. This may have been an all-time low.

I am trying to look at the bright side and all I can come up with is that maybe the uni-bomber is following the same itinerary as us, so God is sparing us from our imminent doom.


Even a little vomit is a game changer.

Okay. If you thought our day-o-urine was upsetting then hold on to your butts because we saw our first debut of vomit to kick off day #4.

Harper woke up yesterday morning complaining of a stomach ache. We were all concerned because it was Washington DC day, and it would be a lot of walking. Washington went right out the window when Harper threw up on his arm.

The temperature was supposed to get up to 108, so we immediately scrapped the idea of dragging a kid with a stomach virus into a crowded city so he could boil, and then inevitably vomit on the fanny pack of a tourist.

We carefully selected a hotel room. (We learned a few years ago not to just snag the best deal, when we had a room where the check-in clerk stood in a bullet-proof glass booth in the parking lot and it looked like someone shaved their back on all the bath towels.) So, we took our time to read a zillion reviews and we booked a safe and chest-hair free hotel room.

Sweet, sweet relief.

Harper only threw up that one time, and we spent the 108 degree day in the hotel swimming pool doing "camping balls." (London is very confused about all things camping and road trip... So for her, cannon balls makes as much sense a camping balls.)

I think maybe Harper was just so disgusted at our choice to drag them around the country that he just finally puked about it all. Either way, he made a full recovery once we got him out of the wilderness.

We had to rearrange the schedule to do Washington DC today and we are on our way now. For those of you who have waited in eager anticipation for the ATATT debut, the time has arrived.

Me: Tom, what would you like all your fans to know about your expectations going into the trip this year?
Tom: "Another wonderful adventure with the family... Buuuut, in underwear-boiling temperatures."
Me: Can you tell us a little bit about your reaction to the first four days? And what are some of the emotions you've experienced.
Tom: "Well, there's been a lot of 'what in the world were we thinking' and 'this is really crazy' but also plenty of 'this is really fun.' It makes me think that there must be something wrong with all these people who are here camping, and ignoring government health warnings... About extreme heat, severe weather, ticks and chiggers... You know, the ones that scroll by in red when you are checking the weather. But what really keeps me up at night is the self-realization that not only am I one of those people, but that we subject our children to it. Oh, the other thing that keeps me up at night is the torrential sweat downpour triggered by nothing other than lying perfectly still in the tent. I will say my WWPRD alarms (what would Paul Robinson do?) were sounding loud and clear very early on this year." (first-year readers may need to double back to previous years to appreciate this reference.)
Me: In your opinion, what was the scariest creature we encountered at the aquarium?
Tom: "Opinions aside, the most terrifying encounter was when I was in an enclosed space with a wild, unpredictable and potentially violent creature. I was in the elevator with a twelve year old girl who yelled at her little brother for no reason. We made eye contact twice and I really thought she was going to yell at me next."
Me: What have been some of your extra duties since I have been injured?
Tom: "I've had to do pretty much everything short of feeding Lara, little baby choochoo style. I have also served as Mobile Barbie Recapitation Services.
Me: what has been the most ridiculous thing said on the trip at this point?
Tom: "I'm about to duct tape him to the ceiling."
Me: How has this trip compared to the past two?
Tom: "Roughest start yet, but I also feel like we are more prepared because we've already done it twice before."
Me: What animal is your focus this year? Trip 1 was the buffalo, trip 2 was the moose... What is the animal obsession this year?
Tom: "This is Sasquatch territory we're heading into this year."

*To say that getting Tom to answer these questions is like pulling teeth is an understatement. I pulled one of Marlie's teeth this morning, easy breezy compared to the trillions of seconds that elapse between the Q and the A.

Bladder control actually IS all its cracked up to be.

If day #1 was nightmare, and day #2 was recovery, then day #3 was urine.

Incident one: London pees her pants just before bedtime. In her car seat. Any parent can relate to this feeling of "if you have to pee/poop/vomit, I'd seriously rather you do it in my hair than on your car seat." It is a huge pain any time, but to deal with a peed car seat on a road trip was enough to make us briefly consider blowing up the car.

Incident #2 started around 2:30am when my motherly instincts woke me up with an overwhelming need to cover anyone who seemed chilly, uncover anyone who had a sweat-soaked head, and pull anyone back who may have slid off their sleeping bag into no-man's land. (Feel free to be impressed with my motherly instincts, I certainly was.)

Until I realized that my motherly instincts failed to remind me to put a pull-up on Harper. (I know this is where half of you stop being impressed and start judging me for having a four year old still in pull-ups, I will thank you very kindly to shut up. Unless you have a really good trick for bed-wetting boys.)

So, here was Harper, out cold, just marinating in his sleep bag.

As one could probably imagine, it was not easy to clean him, the tent, his camping pad, and his sheets and sleeping bag - in the middle of the night, outside, with no washing machine. A stay a local Ho-Jo never sounded so good.

We cleaned everything up, except all the laundry which we ended up bringing to a 24 hour wash-n-fold in the morning. People do your laundry for 89 cents a pound! It was pretty cheap!! If there hadn't been 8 pounds of urine in his 3 pound sleeping bag, it would have been a total steal.

We got our famous crab cakes, then spent all day at the aquarium. It was a great day... So much for the kids to see, so much air conditioning. It was a beautiful thing. Then incident #3.

London brought it home with one more undie-soak. This led to me speed-washing her underpants in the bathroom sink before anyone could come in and report me to the aquarium sanitation police. I was not quick enough apparently, and nobody seemed to appreciate the sight of a woman using the public hand dryer to dry some drawers. Like they've never done it. Psh.

Now in London's sweet baby defense she is just now two and a half, so this is totally age appropriate (and so was baby Huey's sleeping bag fiasco, by the way, you can ask any pediatrician.)

Just before our trip London told me she had to go potty "willy willy bad" and when I told her she needed to hold it, she grabbed herself and yelled "I'm holding it! But if I let go can my undies hold it?" Clearly we still have some ground to cover with her, so I should have seen this coming.

Overall though, It was a really great day, and the kids had so much fun at the aquarium. And when you are surrounded by that much water, honestly who WOULDN't pee themselves? I know Tom considered it on several different occasions.

Tomorrow is Washington D.C. and the kids have very high hopes from our Nation's Capitol. Since nobody in D.C. has ever let anyone down, I see no reason why we shouldn't be feeling pretty good on this side of it. I plan to keep fresh underpants of all sizes in a holster tomorrow, ready to pull out the moment anyone gets the teensiest bit excited.

*a note to ATTAT fans, tomorrow I will be conducting an intensive interview with Tom himself. You can expect lots of exciting things from this full-length feature, including his reactions to all the events that have transpired, and what one creature in the aquarium genuinely terrified him to the point that he said an interaction with said creature would "make him cry." Stay tuned to hear that, and more, tomorrow on All Tom, All the Time.

World Famous Lexington Market

The Lexington Market in Baltimore has lots of interesting things to offer... like "hog jawls" pictured below. We passed on those, but we did get the world's best crab cakes from Faidley's Seafood.

We learned about the family-run seafood stand from a PBS documentary about the best public markets in the US. (it is as riveting as you would expect.) This was my second time eating them, but the last time I had one I was with Sam and we got mugged by a gang of hoodlums. Oh wait, that didn't happen at all... buuuut, she did feel overwhelmed.

This time we met the owner who took no credit for the crab cakes, admitting that he was just "sleeping with" the crab cake master (his wife of 54 years.)
We took a picture of him with the kids, Harper compared his "sweet mowhog" with that of the guy taking our order and we happily slammed an amazing crab cake.

We are headed now to the aquarium where London "will not be wis all da shoiks." (be with all the sharks.). Which may be true because we are probably gonna have to leave we as collateral to afford the parking in this joint.

Night(mare) #1

Our first night, in a word? Theworstevercampingexperience,shortofabearattack. I mean, it was awful. We arrived at Cape Henlopen State Park which is near Rehoboth Beach, Delaware. It was a lovely coastal town with an old fashioned boardwalk and carnival rides... All priced very reasonably!

I mean, at least that is what Google told us when we were still home thinking this was a good idea. Unfortunately we were unable to verify the grandiosity of these claims because when we arrived to set up camp, so did a torrential downpour.

We scrambled around like wild, setting up our tent with two complete strangers who came over to help us (which was the sweetest thing ever) but who also kept walking on the tent with wet/sandy feet (which was the worst because that meant we were sleeping IN wet sand all night.) Blast those kind and thoughtful idiots!

This was just the beginning, at some point during all the craziness, I did something to my wrist which caused me to lose the rotation function of my RIGHT (ie; useful) wrist. Let me tell you, this mama rotates her right wrist about forty three times every minute. Between cooking, dishes, wiping things and people, setting up the tent, unrolling sleeping bags, drying tent floors in a panic, braiding pigtails, what have you... My wrist needs its rotation function, got it!

So, while my wrist went on vacay... The kids did too. The sites were all sand, so once the rain stopped the kids mistakenly believed that we were at the beach and proceeded to ENJOY what was happening. You would think that would be a positive, but me and my floppy wrist had decided to hold a grudge about all the happenings and we had a hard time recovering. The kids being wet, then covered in sand, was not the best news... Especially since our tent was in the same exact condition.

Once we finally rigged a tarp shelter to eat under, the rain had stopped, the kids were soiled and the temperature was around ninety degrees. No. Joke. By the time I was in the tent setting up sleeping arrangements (with four excited, rambunctious kiddos) I pretty much lost it people. There was whisper yelling, there was my injured, desperate, captain-hook-like attempts at the unraveling of sleeping bags and laying out sheets so we didn't stick to the floor or each other. There was even (low point) the accusation that I "squeezed" Harper's eyeball.

I forbade them all from making any human contact for fear that we would all have a heatstroke. This did not deter London from draping her calves across my chest or spooning Tom... nor did it stop Harper from making sure that at least one of him cwas touching me at all times throughout the night. In yet another moment of heat-rain-sand induced insanity, I told my poor four year old boy that he may not touch me one single time because every time he did it felt like he was laying baked potatoes on my legs.

Sleeping was rough because we used the rain tent and rain fly and not our airy screened-roof tent. It's the camping equivalent to sleeping on a sandy sauna with a a flannel pillow case over your head. Oh, and you got a stinkin' baked potato on each leg.

It was so hot in the morning (and my wrist was completely immobile by then) that breaking camp took forever for Tom to do completely by himself. It was that 'doing your chores under water' kind of s-l-o-w. We decided to scrap our plans for the day, and push them off until tomorrow to give ourselves the day to recover from the hellacious beginning to this trip.

It worked, because a slower paced Day #2 has helped us get our groove back. We are now camping at Greenbelt National Park which is a totally unexpected campground in Greenbelt, Maryland. We will stay here two nights because it is conveniently located between Baltimore and Washington D.C. which is the itinerary for the next two days.

Tomorrow is the National Aquarium in Baltimore and then crab cakes for dinner...I love myself a city where you can learn about sea life and also eat it within blocks.

The nightmare first day is over, and Tom stopped quoting the song The Gambler ("...you gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, know when to run!") So, I think we are all back on board with this trip and how great it is going be. Except for my wrist, which is still refusing to participate.

I sang the kids to sleep in the airy, screened tent, without any whisper yelling and not a single eyeball was squeezed inadvertently. All in all, this gets filed as a success.

And we're off...

We have officially made departure. We left about 30 minutes behind schedule, which is a huge improvement from previous years. Our career average tardiness on the first day is approximately three hours.. So, I am taking this as a good sign. It was looking like a bad sign yesterday when our van broke down (we really just ran out of gas bc our gas gauge stopped working...) so, things are looking up from that prospect!

The kids are doing great - busy writing on the windows with their washable window markers, tallying grannies, and checking out their activity packs. They are also very committed to saying "mama" at least one time every 30 seconds, but at least they are doing a great job takings turns (dropping things.) So, that is keeping me quite busy as well.

They have some snacks and treats that they can help themselves to - the only rule is that when their snacks are gone, they're gone... So there is no complaining if they don't pace themselves. One hour in and all of London's exposed skin stained orange from marker, her snacks are gone and I am 99% certain she is going to drink all the water out of her aqua doodle pen. And then she'll pee her pants.

We are camping tonight at Cape Henlopen State Park near Rehoboth Beach, Delaware. The forecast is set for tropical downpour and boiling temperatures right about the time we will need to set up camp and build a fire for dinner.

Pretty solid start I would say. This is the point when the voices of all the nay-sayers start to sound really loud, and very reasonable. But, we have two great (albeit equally crazy) road trips under our family belt... So, I will keep reminding myself that this is not the dumbest decision I have ever made, and it is going to be a blast, and my kids are going to learn some awesome things about living a full life, loving Jesus and your family, and having adventures, and how to be like those cool, low-maintenance Appalachian trail type of people who hardly ever recognize their need to shower.

If nothing else, I hope they learn to pace themselves in the snack department.

Capuano Tour de USA - part three

Well... It's that time again. It's time to shove all of our belongings into ziplock bags, buy so much bug repellent, and drive throughout the continental US hoping we don't get eaten by a bear.

This Sunday we head out on our annual cross-country trek that we lovingly (and annoyingly) refer to as The Capuano Family Tour de USA. The primary goal is to have so much wild, adventurous fun that our kids will look back on their childhood and realize that their parents were not just wise, loving, devoted and attractive people... But that they were also roaming wanderers who walked on the wild side by taking all their personal days at one time.

The secondary goal is to visit all of the continental United States within a few years. This will make our third trip, and should prove to be quite eventful. Here is how it all goes down: we will take our four kids (ages 2, 4, 6 and 8) tent camping for a little over 3 weeks. We give ourselves one hotel stay per week so we can shower, do laundry and re-stock our groceries. I pre-plan every meal and we cook over the fire or on our camp stove, except on the hotel night when we get to eat out! I make activity books for each kid that are action packed with destination-related material so that they learn something about each state. (Buuuut... I also throw in something ridiculous like "The Great Granny Tally of 2012" where they have to keep track of every granny they see throughout the trip.)

This year we will be doing a good portion of the Southeast. We are going to boil alive.

If heat stroke doesn't take us first, Tom is pretty sure that I am gonna get us yankees killed by challenging every confederate flag-totin' cowboy east of the Mississippi. I can't help it, I have a hard time overlooking blatant stupidity. Plus, I'm really scrappy. Tom is already planning to say a lot of "we don't want any trouble now... We'll just be on our way..."

So, other than maybe reigniting the civil war, this should be a really good time. We have some really fun things planned and unbelievably beautiful parts of the country to discover. We also have record high temperatures, wild fires, alligators and black bears to contend with. But, you know what they say... Animals are more afraid of us than we are of them. I wonder if that is also true of the guys wearing rebel flags on their belt buckles. I guess we'll find out in the coming posts...

What you can also expect from our blog this year is the return of the wildly popular feature called A.T.A.T.T. or All Tom All The Time. This was added in response to an outpouring of Tom's fans who wanted, nay, NEEDED more Tom related content, or Tomtent if you will.

We invite you to sit back and follow us on our journey. Make fun of us, pray for us, annnnd, maybe come find us if we aren't back by August 6th.

i'll have the bowl of cherries, with a side of all my baggage.


it has been way too long since my last blog. so, i am not only overdue for an update... but, after celebrating my 31st birthday this week, i am also feeling sentimental enough to review the past year.

i have been very outspoken about my feelings on turning 30.  i have had lots of hopes and dreams for my thirties, as well as goals i've set for myself.  i am one year into my thirties and i don't know that i have accomplished any of them.  sadly, this year felt less like a coming-into-my-own, year of total fabulousness, and more like that scene from The Neverending Story, where atreyu is desperately trying to pull his horse out of quick sand.  i don't know if i am atreyu, or if i am the horse, or if am somehow both.  maybe i am neither, and i really just love that movie.  either way, that huge flying dog was awesome, aaaaand this was a hard year.

it was also a great year.  below is a sort of a highlight reel from this year:

  • we started serving in the children's ministry at our church.
  • we finally joined a small group at our church.
  • i pretended to have a business, which turned into really having a business.
  • we completed all the steps of our adoption process, which means that we are just WAITING for an expectant mother to choose our family!
  • i worked hard at establishing some boundaries, and have done pretty well in actually sticking with them.  
  • annalee was one of two kids chosen from her school for a scholarship to attend a summer camp for two weeks.  she was nominated by her teacher and selected based on the fact that she "never ever lost a single "bee" for making a bad choice in the whole three years at the school."  this was a proud mommy moment!  her artwork was also selected to be on the front cover of the yearbook for the second year in a row!
  • both the girls are among the highest level readers in their classes, and harper just had his pre-k graduation ceremony.  he wore a luigi suit for the rest of the day, mustachio included.  if you saw him in the suit, you would agree that this is highlight-worthy.
  • london is daytime potty-trained.  accidents are few and far between, but asking for gummies as a potty treat is frequent and obsessive.  i am so concerned about the enamel on her teeth.  don't judge me.  i have had someone in diapers for 8 1/2 years, so just shut up so much.
  • tom and i have been married for nine years, and i think he still likes me.
  • i got tatted like the wild, unpredictable broad that i am.
  • we are planning our next big road trip for July - making this part three of our Capuano Tour de USA.
  • annalee and marlie started ballet this year, which is a dream come true for marlie especially.  she has been twirling and ballerina walking everywhere we go for years now.
  • i saw my friend have a baby.
  • we have been asked to be a part of some cool events that raise awareness about adoption.  
  • i have been able to work closely with all the kids' teachers and spend a decent amount of time in their schools.  this is my favorite part of being a stay-at-home business mogul of a mother.  
  • i have gone through some really hard times this year, and have felt so supported by my friends and family.  i know people always say that, but honestly you would be jealous if you knew how great my friends are, and how amazing my family is.
  • i am blessed. beyond. words.
now... i have no intentions of being one of those people who sends the hoity-toity christmas newsletter with all their lifetime achievements with a holly border around it.  my hilarious and talented friend sam once remarked in a christmas newsletter about her husband's receding hairline, just to be sure she didn't paint an unrealistic picture of perfection.  so, i will walk in her footsteps and i offer you: The Lowlights of 2012
  • we have no idea how long this adoption wait will be, so we will be living in a perpetual state of paper pregnancy for many months, or potentially years.  this means constantly saying things like "well, unless we have the baby by then..." and "just in case we get the call about the baby..." or "can you imagine this with one more baby?" or "how are we going to do this with one more baby?"  and "where will we put that baby?" and a lot of "have you heard anything about a baby?"
  • while we have done a great deal of fundraising for the adoption, we will still owe a huge chunk of money at the time of placement... approx. $8k i think??  this is bad news y'all.
  • i realized that i am a people-pleaser.  this shocked the junk out of me because i can't remember the last time i felt like i pleased anyone!  maybe i'm not a people-pleaser... maybe a better description is that i am a pathological approval junkie. (technical term.)  this has been a really fun adventure of a realization... action packed with rage and disappointment, and a dash of realizing my own narcissism!  what fun!
  • harper is still having a hard time staying dry over night.  so, that means two kids in pull-ups at night... even if we are diaper free during the day time.  poor buddy just can't seem to stop peeing more than any other human on earth has ever peed, every single night.  frustrating, exhausting, so much laundry.
  • laundry.  i know i just said it in the last bullet point, but if you saw my basement right now... you would  acknowledge that this should be at least five separate low points.  between the pee and the dirt and the food spills and the drink spills and then all the pee... the laundry is OUT. OF. CONTROL. 
  • managing the house and the kids and our schedule has proved to be considerably more challenging when you are dragging yourself in and out of clinical insanity. (see below for details.)
  • i  have done some relational remodeling, which has been for my overall health and sanity... but, the removal of, and rearranging of, certain people and priorities has been one of the most painful things i have ever endured.  out of respect for my family's privacy, i go into no details... but, believe me when i say that breaking up with your loved ones is one way to ensure that you'll stay in an almost constant state of ugly-crying for some time.  i am back to looking gorgeous when i cry, so do not worry about me.
  • the above has taken a toll on tom and the kids, the extent of which i am not sure i will know.
  • a dear friend lost a beloved niece to cancer, and when her heart broke... mine did too.
  • i continue to struggle with the circular guilt dilemma.  i fail, i feel guilty, i try extra hard, i resent feeling over-extended, i fail, i feel guilty.  
so there you have it...  the receding hairline of my life.  my life is great, and i am not complaining at all... my life IS a bowl of cherries, but there are pits and stems and some pretty bruised places in there and i never wanted to be anything if not honest about it all.   

i guess that's it.  my year in review.  for this next year, as one in my early thirties, i think i am lowering my standards a little.  maybe i will be fabulous next year, but this year, i am just just going to continue the hard work of uprooting sin and sick from my life.  the pits, the stems and the bruises.  i am praying for some healing this year.  and, above everything, that i will love people well and look a little more like Jesus at the end than i did at the beginning.  

i guess that, in itself, is pretty fabulous. 

all things new

it has been a long time since i have had it in me to sit down and blogvent all my deep, dark feelings.  the truth is that i have been in a really bad place.  i am not even going to pretend that i don't have a TON of great things going on in my life.  i mean, i always have a life full of great gifts and blessings, but there are all sorts of new things happening... i will list some of these exciting developments here, because i am selfish and i want the reminder.

  • we are waiting to adopt another baby, which means i am pregnant on paper.
  • i recently started a (soon-to-be-wildly-successful) business with a great friend. (i will tell that story soon enough, but the micro-version is that i pretended to have a business, and to make good on that claim, i actually had to start one.  it just felt like lying otherwise. because it was lying, a little. okay, mostly it was lying.)
  • i am starting a 6 week trial serving with the children's ministry at my church.  this is perfect for me because i looooove my church, i love the people i will be working with, i love kids, i love Jesus, and i love my family... with whom i will get to serve.  *in case you are concerned about me working with children after my confession about all the lying, please understand that i didn't mean to lie, i just got excited and i made good on the claim that i had a business, by starting said business.  so, it was really like a prophesy that had not yet been fulfilled.  so i am less like a liar, and more like a false prophet.  which is still shameful and you are right, i should not work with children.  i will resign immediately. (lie.)
  • we have decided on the dates for the Third Annual Capuano Tour de USA.  the region of the continental US has yet to be determined, but the decision is made and dates are set!  *i was going to hyperlink something to my first and second cross-country road trip... but there are way too many to choose from, so if you don't know what i am talking about and are absolutely DESPERATE to know more, then just go back and read my blog from the beginning.  you won't be sorry, our trips are full of danger, adventure, action, humor, folly aaannnnnd... feats of strength.
so, even with all that great news... things have been rough in other, more personal ways.  it has been a time where i have had to really do some hard work in figuring out who i am vs. who God wants me to be.  and that is never pretty, especially when the raw material being examined is my haggard heart.  i have realized that i have zero boundaries.  well, that is actually completely untrue.  i have some pretty solid boundaries, i just let them be violated by anyone who pushes.  i don't know what happened to me, but somewhere along the road i developed a guilt-complex that has somehow convinced me that i can never say "no" to people.  even when i really want to, or when my boundaries have been completely violated... i just can't hold firm.  i have always been pretty sassy and strong and full of gumption... but when it comes to somebody i love pushing back on a boundary, i cave every time.  ugh.  i'm a total embarrassment of a jellyfish.

this is not just with one person, but several people, it just takes on different forms.  so, it stops here and now. i needed to get to a point where i had been stretched so thin from allowing this to happen in my relationships, that i would get my gumption back.  well, here it is ladies and gentlemen!  i am done.  i have way too many kids to get sucked dry by other people in my life!  i have become so depleted that i feel like i barely have enough of myself to give to my family.  i am so thankful for each relationship in my life, and i am even thankful for the particularly challenging ones... because God has used them to bring the impurities out of my heart, and whenever you see the crap rise to the surface... it doesn't look too pretty, but when the junk is cleared away, what remains is always a purer thing.  and that purer heart is overflowing with many great blessings, namely Jesus and my family.  so, that is where i am starting.  back to the basic middle-school youth group lesson on priorities... God first, family second, everything else comes after that.

i am feeling scared and relieved and guilty for what this "season of redefining" will mean for my current relationships, but i am also feeling excited to allow God to strengthen me and refine me and make me new.  i am looking forward to being on the other end of this season and being able to have normal relationships with people, where i can preserve my boundaries and better protect my time and energy level, so that my best always goes to God first, family second.  and for the first time in a long time, everything else will come after that.

for some time my friend sam has been peer-pressuring me into getting tattoos. again.  her invitation to literally write a reminder where i can see it at all times came at the perfect time.  so, i did it.  i wrote myself a little reminder that this is a new season, and that God requires me to be a new person.  in my own handwriting, in a place i can see it at all times... i wrote myself a little note to remind myself of 2 corinthians 5:17, where God promises that "if anyone is in Christ, they are a new creation" where "the old is gone, and the new has come."  one translation says "behold! all things become new!"  that. is. it.

all things new.  

new relationships, new energy level, new boundaries, new hope, new patience, new grace, new discipline, new life.  talk about your makeover... yes. please.





anonymous comments no longer welcome.

I would like to apologize to my blog followers, and regular blog checkers for the comment that somebody anonymously posted on a video of my son.  While I am infuriated at the remark, I am not surprised that the cowardly comment was left anonymously.  I invite anybody who has a question, remark or even a disagreement about the content of my blog to freely leave comments.  HOWEVER, I would expect that comments are left with respect and some sort of maturity.  If not, they will be deleted.  Racial or demeaning remarks are not welcome on my blog.  Unfortunately, I feel that I can no longer allow anonymous users to leave comments.

Additionally, all readers should be made aware that I do my best to maintain some sense of control and reason in my life.  As a mother, I cannot promise that I will maintain either control, or reason, when it comes to nasty, hateful or derogatory comments made toward/about my children.  While I often view it as a responsibility to educate others on racial sensitivity, I feel a much greater responsibility to beat senseless the person who dares to cross my kids.

Thank you and good day.
 

ATATT: Limited photo edition!

After 8 years of marriage to Tom (a second generation hoarder) i have finally made progress in manhandling him into throwing away all extra-short, quadruple-wide sweaters from the early 90's. this sateen jersey, however, was the one item he is unwilling to part with. when asked what his emotional attachment was to the vertical striped, umbro soccer jersey, he replied "it's the real deal." (then he took a moment of silence.)

@laracapuano