One year ago, almost to the day, I was in Manhattan. I was in the middle of my first annual 31 Days of Kindness, and we had gotten a call that we were chosen by a birthmother to adopt her baby. You can read the original post here, but the long story short is that she changed her mind in the hospital, and we had to drive home with one empty car seat. That was not the baby that God had intended to be in our forever family. It wasn't until the following January until we learned who our "mistry baby" would be.
Jaylen came to us months later, and without a doubt, he is the child that was meant to be in our family. (You can read about his homecoming story here.) Jay was also born in New York City, and coming back a few months after our failed adoption was very challenging, but healing at the same time.
We have, what is called, an open adoption with Jaylen's birthmother. Every open adoption looks different, but ours looks like this: I send Miss N. text and picture messages every couple of days, I update a private blog with pictures and information about Jay's health and development, we talk and/or FaceTime occasionally, and I bring Jaylen to visit every few months.
Day 24. It may be a bit of a stretch because it is hardly a random act of kindness... but this morning, I packed up a zillion pounds of baby gear and I boarded a plane to come to Manhattan to honor our commitment to facilitate a relationship between our son and his first mama. As thrilled as I am to make these visits, they are a bit of a sacrifice, and I have to rely on the generosity of my friends Jessica (who helps with flights) and Melissa (*who forced me to do her dishes as payment for staying at her place.)
*That was a total lie, but I did do her dishes, and I put a dollar in a homeless man's change receptacle which I am counting as a kindness in case this doesn't do it for you people:
So there you have it, dishes done willingly, dollar given joyfully and birthmom reunion. How ya like that Day 24?
Jaylen came to us months later, and without a doubt, he is the child that was meant to be in our family. (You can read about his homecoming story here.) Jay was also born in New York City, and coming back a few months after our failed adoption was very challenging, but healing at the same time.
We have, what is called, an open adoption with Jaylen's birthmother. Every open adoption looks different, but ours looks like this: I send Miss N. text and picture messages every couple of days, I update a private blog with pictures and information about Jay's health and development, we talk and/or FaceTime occasionally, and I bring Jaylen to visit every few months.
Day 24. It may be a bit of a stretch because it is hardly a random act of kindness... but this morning, I packed up a zillion pounds of baby gear and I boarded a plane to come to Manhattan to honor our commitment to facilitate a relationship between our son and his first mama. As thrilled as I am to make these visits, they are a bit of a sacrifice, and I have to rely on the generosity of my friends Jessica (who helps with flights) and Melissa (*who forced me to do her dishes as payment for staying at her place.)
*That was a total lie, but I did do her dishes, and I put a dollar in a homeless man's change receptacle which I am counting as a kindness in case this doesn't do it for you people:
So there you have it, dishes done willingly, dollar given joyfully and birthmom reunion. How ya like that Day 24?